Chilling out

Good news and bad news. I have been chilling out a bit. The good news is that I have more peace. I don't feel as wound up. I feel like I can just take things one day and step at a time. I'm probably a little less obnoxious to be around. I am not looking at everybody with a sense of "what the @#$! is wrong with everybody" "Does anybody care?" So that's good. I honestly felt like I was going to explode for a little while. Everything in me was almost more than I could bear. Seriously. It was intense.

The only fear is that I know how easy it is to slip back into complacency. To just "live". Doing good stuff, but with no real purpose. With no real urgency. Does that make any sense? I want my life to be about something different. I want to go against the flow. It can get a little wearisome swimming against the flow. I want to be about more than middle class life.

I hope that God will give me the grace to be more than a dreamer. More than someone with good ideas. More than someone with good intentions.

Peace for now.